“Leading me through the dark”
“I drop the needle and pray”
Bruce Springsteen & the E Street Band
There’s no doubt my faith gets me through each day. Although I don’t necessarily agree with ALL of the teachings of the Catholic Church, I’m a practicing Catholic…not devout…but pretty close. I guess that’s a result of being educated by the School Sisters of Notre Dame from the age of 5 until the age of 18…that’s kindergarten through senior year of high school! Wow…way too many religion classes AND a recipe for enormous Catholic guilt. Bless me Father for I have sinned, I’m not a stellar Catholic!
Phew! I let it out. Yes, I have my own interpretations and opinions when it comes to Catholicism. I don’t follow every rule. I commit sins. Don’t we all?
Despite my faults, I gravitate towards churches. The older, darker, and more gothic in style, the better. Walking into a church is my refuge. It’s the only place where I can take a deep breath and find a moment of peace. I cherish time alone just sitting in a church pew surrounded by candles and statues. The “alone time” is a means of
“Leading me through the dark.”
I usually stop into a church on a whim. This spontaneous act happens when I’m in dire need of mental therapy. I’m not embarrassed to admit that I rely on my faith, spirituality, and a church to ease my mind (plus Springsteen tunes.)
Here’s a question…Do people go to church only when they need something? Hmmmm. Well, on February 15, 2012… I needed something! I needed direction. My state of mind and my emotions had recently been through a few weeks of HELL. I was extremely stressed out and I needed to snap out of it. I stopped into my local church looking for a sign that would hopefully, point me in the right direction.
“Leading me through the dark.”
While focusing on statues and candles, I started having a conversation with God-
“I’m a complete train wreck. I need to get out of this darkness. Help. I’ve been misunderstood and really hurt. I need this pain to end.”
(***My unhappiness had absolutely nothing to do with my personal and family life. A full explanation will be posted on this website in my “Wrecking Ball” essay …to be released at a later date. ***)
On with the prayers…Mesmerized by the flames in the candles, I end my conversation with God and start asking myself… What can I do to turn this toxic situation into something positive? Hmmmmm. Write about it? Okay, I think I’m getting somewhere with this idea….write…in other words…vent on paper….hmmmm….maybe while listening to BRUCE?????????????? OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now imagine dramatic church music from a really loud organ… because that’s the noise I was hearing in my head…not the silence in the church. TA DAHHH!! I just had an enlightening moment. Got it! Thank you GOD! I will write about life and pull my inspiration from Bruce Springsteen lyrics.
Prayer really does change things. I prayed and received my answer. How perfect…I just needed to combine my passion for writing with my passion for Bruce’s music. That was my way out of the darkness!
“Drop the needle and pray”
Okay, so not many of us use vinyl records anymore but for the sake of my enlightenment and lyric analysis… please follow my thought process for a moment. Bruce’s words truly and literally define how my new passion (LeeLee’s Room) evolved. I prayed for something “leading me through the dark”…and the answer was “drop the needle and pray.”
Thank you God…I dropped the needle and prayed…and it worked! I’ve been lead out of the darkness and into LeeLee’s Room.
The lesson I learned: GO TO CHURCH, KEEP CALM, AND LISTEN TO BRUCE!